So I went to Disney World last week, and it was awesome. I had so much fun and I didn't want to come back.
I also went to Baylor for a college visit yesterday, and I must say that it's got something special. I felt a connection that I didn't feel when I went to UNT, something about the place just felt right. I don't know if it's because it's a christian college, or just because it was more exciting because it was a preview weekend, but I felt it.
I'm glad I wrote that last post, cause it helped me gather my thoughts on some of the subject matter. I actually feel better about going to college now because I think God will have me ready in time. I also sorted out the girl problem to a rather positive end. :]
It's funny how 2 months ago I was so sure I was going to end up going to UNT, and now so many things are pointing me in the other direction. I guess it's really just me reconnecting with God and finally listening. Maybe those feelings of uncertainty were because somewhere deep down inside I knew I wasn't going the way God wanted me to. Hmm. Talk about an epiphany.
Sunday, April 27, 2008
Sunday, March 30, 2008
Scattered thoughts...
I'm at an interesting place right now. A lot of things have changed recently, not necessarily for better or worse, just different. I'm kind of excited about some of it, but then again, I'm not so excited about some of it.
School's getting pretty close to being over, and I'm not sure how I feel about it. On one hand, I can't wait for summer, I'm excited about going to prom at the end of May, and I'll be a senior in high school; on the other hand, I've only got a few months left with my senior friends, I don't feel like I'm ready for college, and I'll be a high school senior.
I've narrowed down my college search to just a couple, and I'm pretty sure I know what I want to do, but it's coming so fast that I'm getting frightened I'll miss something important along the way.
I'm also a little worried about all the AP tests I'm taking this year. I've got so many, and they're all really close together, so I hope I can do well on them all.
I've kind of re-developed some friendships lately that I'm glad I did, and it's funny how things work sometimes. I just hope I don't lose some others.
There's something else, too. I'm not quite sure how I feel about someone, and I can't quite tell how she feels about me, and because of all this not-knowing, I'm not sure what to do. I think I'll figure it out eventually though, I just hope it's sooner rather than later.
Well my thoughts in this post have been scattered, but I'm glad I voiced them all. I find it's easier to think about things when I write them out like this.
School's getting pretty close to being over, and I'm not sure how I feel about it. On one hand, I can't wait for summer, I'm excited about going to prom at the end of May, and I'll be a senior in high school; on the other hand, I've only got a few months left with my senior friends, I don't feel like I'm ready for college, and I'll be a high school senior.
I've narrowed down my college search to just a couple, and I'm pretty sure I know what I want to do, but it's coming so fast that I'm getting frightened I'll miss something important along the way.
I'm also a little worried about all the AP tests I'm taking this year. I've got so many, and they're all really close together, so I hope I can do well on them all.
I've kind of re-developed some friendships lately that I'm glad I did, and it's funny how things work sometimes. I just hope I don't lose some others.
There's something else, too. I'm not quite sure how I feel about someone, and I can't quite tell how she feels about me, and because of all this not-knowing, I'm not sure what to do. I think I'll figure it out eventually though, I just hope it's sooner rather than later.
Well my thoughts in this post have been scattered, but I'm glad I voiced them all. I find it's easier to think about things when I write them out like this.
Thursday, January 24, 2008
They paved paradise...
I apologize for my lack of consistency in blog posts, for the few of you who read this, but I just never think to write on here. I know it's been a good 7 months since I last wrote.
That said, a lot's gone on. Got my license, been driving for a little over 6 months now; dated a girl for about three months, it didn't work out the way I expected, but when does it ever? I seem to have overcome my songwriter's block fairly well until just this afternoon. I've written some quality material, but I have one set of lyrics yet to be put to music. Oddly enough, it's my only sad song—maybe there's some mental block on the feelings associated with it? Eh, that's doubtful. Hopefully this spring break or summer or some time soon I can get them recorded and up on the music myspace I've had sitting around with no music for a while. Then I just have to hope people like my stuff. Oh well, I won't delve into that.
It's interesting to read these old posts and see how much I've changed in the last six months. I'm a very different person, yet very much the same; I've grown up a lot, but I've still got a lot of growing up to do. (Okay, enough with the paradoxes, Andy.)
I've started playing in a YMCA basketball league with some guys from church, and I can't believe how good it feels to be playing basketball again. I missed it so much, but I had no idea. It's funny, cause I was never really all that good, but I loved playing it and still do.
Lately I've become a prime example of how God works in mysterious ways. I've learned a lot about people because I've had the luxury, nay—the blessing of being able to sort of sit back and observe how people around me have changed and what different circumstances have brought out in them. It's sort of like I'm an anthropologist or something, but not on a large scale. And I really think God's using these observations to teach me things about people.
One more thing I wanted to touch on, on Tuesday (January 22), Heath Ledger was found dead in a Manhattan apartment. The rumor going around (though I have no idea how true it is) is that he is such a method actor that playing the role of the Joker in The Dark Knight had really messed him up and he was having trouble sleeping, and he accidentally overdosed on sleeping pills. It is such a tragic story, because the man was extremely talented. He was a great actor, probably one of my favorite young actors, so charming on screen, and probably the same way in real life. He also had a two year old daughter, whose mother he was close to reconciling with. Whether this was suicide, accident, or something else, I am truly saddened to know that The Dark Knight will be the last time I get to see such a talented man onscreen. It serves as a grim reminder that we are not guaranteed our next breath, nor anything else in this life. People always say things like that when someone dies, but it is so very true. Heath Ledger was only 28, a young man with his whole life ahead of him, and it was all stripped away in an instant. I like to think he's in heaven right now, chilling with God and talking about all kinds of things, but I don't know. Sometimes I wonder if the people I see every day will get that same opportunity I know I'm guaranteed. I pray that they do, though not often enough.
Joni Mitchell once wrote "Don't it always seem to go that you don't know what you got 'til it's gone?" That's about as true as it gets. Life is fleeting. I'm trying not to take it for granted, and I hope I challenged you to do the same.
Well, it's off to bed with me—got school tomorrow.
Until next time,
Andy
That said, a lot's gone on. Got my license, been driving for a little over 6 months now; dated a girl for about three months, it didn't work out the way I expected, but when does it ever? I seem to have overcome my songwriter's block fairly well until just this afternoon. I've written some quality material, but I have one set of lyrics yet to be put to music. Oddly enough, it's my only sad song—maybe there's some mental block on the feelings associated with it? Eh, that's doubtful. Hopefully this spring break or summer or some time soon I can get them recorded and up on the music myspace I've had sitting around with no music for a while. Then I just have to hope people like my stuff. Oh well, I won't delve into that.
It's interesting to read these old posts and see how much I've changed in the last six months. I'm a very different person, yet very much the same; I've grown up a lot, but I've still got a lot of growing up to do. (Okay, enough with the paradoxes, Andy.)
I've started playing in a YMCA basketball league with some guys from church, and I can't believe how good it feels to be playing basketball again. I missed it so much, but I had no idea. It's funny, cause I was never really all that good, but I loved playing it and still do.
Lately I've become a prime example of how God works in mysterious ways. I've learned a lot about people because I've had the luxury, nay—the blessing of being able to sort of sit back and observe how people around me have changed and what different circumstances have brought out in them. It's sort of like I'm an anthropologist or something, but not on a large scale. And I really think God's using these observations to teach me things about people.
One more thing I wanted to touch on, on Tuesday (January 22), Heath Ledger was found dead in a Manhattan apartment. The rumor going around (though I have no idea how true it is) is that he is such a method actor that playing the role of the Joker in The Dark Knight had really messed him up and he was having trouble sleeping, and he accidentally overdosed on sleeping pills. It is such a tragic story, because the man was extremely talented. He was a great actor, probably one of my favorite young actors, so charming on screen, and probably the same way in real life. He also had a two year old daughter, whose mother he was close to reconciling with. Whether this was suicide, accident, or something else, I am truly saddened to know that The Dark Knight will be the last time I get to see such a talented man onscreen. It serves as a grim reminder that we are not guaranteed our next breath, nor anything else in this life. People always say things like that when someone dies, but it is so very true. Heath Ledger was only 28, a young man with his whole life ahead of him, and it was all stripped away in an instant. I like to think he's in heaven right now, chilling with God and talking about all kinds of things, but I don't know. Sometimes I wonder if the people I see every day will get that same opportunity I know I'm guaranteed. I pray that they do, though not often enough.
Joni Mitchell once wrote "Don't it always seem to go that you don't know what you got 'til it's gone?" That's about as true as it gets. Life is fleeting. I'm trying not to take it for granted, and I hope I challenged you to do the same.
Well, it's off to bed with me—got school tomorrow.
Until next time,
Andy
Thursday, June 28, 2007
Return of the Jedi...no, King...no, Blogger!
So I'm back after a long (and unintended) hiatus.
Yesterday, I saw the movie Once, starring Glen Hansard and Marketa Irglova, and it was great. It's been called a "modern musical," but I wouldn't say I agree. I'd say it was a story told both through film and music, because the songs aren't like musical numbers, they're songs the characters wrote, but they tell the story. However you look at it though, the movie is amazing. The best way I can describe it is beautiful. The stars are actually the musicians who wrote the music, which gives it that more realistic feeling.
I also am wondering if the movie affected me so partially because I feel like I'm at a point parallel to where the songs talk about.
Speaking of songs, I've been trying to write some more, and I can't seem to do it. I've got a major case of (song)writer's block. And it sucks, cause I have a lot of stuff I feel I could channel into song, but I just can't seem to get it out right. Maybe it's just not the right time yet, who knows. I just feel like making music, especially my own, is something God really wants for my life, but I just feel like there's a disconnect between the heart and the pen.
Wow, that was really poetic. Maybe I'm getting something here. Better go try to write before I lose it.
Well, until next time, always wear your seatbelts and beware, I get my driver's license in the coming weeks. :D
Yesterday, I saw the movie Once, starring Glen Hansard and Marketa Irglova, and it was great. It's been called a "modern musical," but I wouldn't say I agree. I'd say it was a story told both through film and music, because the songs aren't like musical numbers, they're songs the characters wrote, but they tell the story. However you look at it though, the movie is amazing. The best way I can describe it is beautiful. The stars are actually the musicians who wrote the music, which gives it that more realistic feeling.
I also am wondering if the movie affected me so partially because I feel like I'm at a point parallel to where the songs talk about.
Speaking of songs, I've been trying to write some more, and I can't seem to do it. I've got a major case of (song)writer's block. And it sucks, cause I have a lot of stuff I feel I could channel into song, but I just can't seem to get it out right. Maybe it's just not the right time yet, who knows. I just feel like making music, especially my own, is something God really wants for my life, but I just feel like there's a disconnect between the heart and the pen.
Wow, that was really poetic. Maybe I'm getting something here. Better go try to write before I lose it.
Well, until next time, always wear your seatbelts and beware, I get my driver's license in the coming weeks. :D
Saturday, May 26, 2007
Love is the only constant.
You grow up
Times change
You move on
And it's never the same, but
Deep down
You know in your heart
That it's love
That got you where you are
From crawl to walk
And walk to run
You're always changing
Till life is done
And there's one thing
You know through and through
That love will always
Be with you
You grow old
You look back
You start to wonder:
"Why was it that I
Couldn't see
That love would be
The one thing
That would carry me?"
The first song I've written that I'm really proud of. It's not completely done yet, but I just thought I'd post it. It really says alot about how I've been feeling lately, how life is always changing, and love is the only constant. Whether it be from your husband, wife, boyfriend, girlfriend, mom, dad, brother, sister, family, friends, or whoever, love is always there, and can get you through anything.
Thoughts? Ideas for a song title? Post them, please.
Sunday, May 20, 2007
There was magic everywhere—and Mel Gibson.
In case you're wondering, the title is meaningless, it's just a quote from Aqua Teen Hunger Force, and also the name of an In Theory song.
Well, I ended my 10 month relationship yesterday, and man, it's very different from how I hoped it would be. Heck, I'm very different from how I hoped I'd be. Not that I'm not happy with who I am, I just thought I saw myself going in a different direction, and now I'm not.
Some things just aren't simple, and I wish I could make them simple, but it's not possible. I guess I do a lot of "I wish I could, but I can't" kind of things lately, but yeah, just being honest.
Honestly, while breaking up sucks, I'm kind of glad that I went ahead and did it rather than dragging it on for a long time, because that would have made things worse.
On a different note, I'm glad to see/hear that my last blog (posted both here and on myspace, though I'm sure most people read it on myspace) ended up ruffling some feathers and/or opening up a can of worms. We had a nice discussion about it today in Sunday School, I'm glad to see that I was wrong about being the only one who wants to do anything. I can already tell that we just might have a little life left in us, which is very exciting, with camp coming up very soon. That could potentially really revive us as a youth group. Keep it in your prayers, please. It's something we really need.
Kidz Stomp was tonight at church, and that was fun. The kids really enjoyed it, especially the boys. Of course, any young boy is going to enjoy beating things with sticks. It got me excited for Pre-Teen Camp this summer, cause I'm going as the youth sponsor, which is going to be cool.
So for the few of you who read this, if you want to, spread my link around. I guess it would be cool if more people read it. If you have your own blog, link to me, I'll do the same to you. I'd just like more people to read my thoughts, because I only know of a handful.
Well I guess that's it for this go 'round. God bless.
Well, I ended my 10 month relationship yesterday, and man, it's very different from how I hoped it would be. Heck, I'm very different from how I hoped I'd be. Not that I'm not happy with who I am, I just thought I saw myself going in a different direction, and now I'm not.
Some things just aren't simple, and I wish I could make them simple, but it's not possible. I guess I do a lot of "I wish I could, but I can't" kind of things lately, but yeah, just being honest.
Honestly, while breaking up sucks, I'm kind of glad that I went ahead and did it rather than dragging it on for a long time, because that would have made things worse.
On a different note, I'm glad to see/hear that my last blog (posted both here and on myspace, though I'm sure most people read it on myspace) ended up ruffling some feathers and/or opening up a can of worms. We had a nice discussion about it today in Sunday School, I'm glad to see that I was wrong about being the only one who wants to do anything. I can already tell that we just might have a little life left in us, which is very exciting, with camp coming up very soon. That could potentially really revive us as a youth group. Keep it in your prayers, please. It's something we really need.
Kidz Stomp was tonight at church, and that was fun. The kids really enjoyed it, especially the boys. Of course, any young boy is going to enjoy beating things with sticks. It got me excited for Pre-Teen Camp this summer, cause I'm going as the youth sponsor, which is going to be cool.
So for the few of you who read this, if you want to, spread my link around. I guess it would be cool if more people read it. If you have your own blog, link to me, I'll do the same to you. I'd just like more people to read my thoughts, because I only know of a handful.
Well I guess that's it for this go 'round. God bless.
Wednesday, May 9, 2007
Sending out an SOS
Hey kiddos, time for another long rant courtesty of your Friendly Neighborhood Andy! Well, here goes.
I think I'll just come right out and say it. I have a problem with my youth group. A big one.
I think about our youth group now compared to three years ago, and I wonder if I'm imagining something. THREE YEARS and we are entirely different, totally opposite, out of whack, and in the wrong place. True, all the leadership we had graduated, and nobody has filled that position, though many of us have talked about it. But why not? I'm not the only one who knows about this, why am I the only one who wants to DO anything about it?
Also, there are many who have what I would call an attitude problem. One girl I know of, if I asked her straight up, "Why do you come to church?" I know she would say "My parents make me." There's a few out there who have the attitude that they are better than everyone else and they get to choose who is worthy to hang out with. These "elitists" (I say that so they will know who they are) seem to care very little about church or God, and more about making fun of people and being their own clique (which is a whole different issue I will address in a minute).
I play bass in youth every week and you know what I see from the stage? Zombies. Kids who don't care. Sure, there are a scattered few who actually worship (which, by the way, is the ENTIRE REASON WE WERE CREATED IN THE FIRST PLACE), and I give those people the tip of my hat. I am proud of you for worshipping God even though it doesn't seem like anyone wants to. But to everyone else, why come to church if you don't listen during Dr. Dan's sermons, don't listen during Josh's bible studies, and don't worship during the songs? Because you want to hang out and see friends? Can't you do that anywhere else? If you tell me you want to learn more about God, and improve your relationship with him, great, then DO IT.
Another thing about our youth group is that it seems few visitors feel welcome. You know why? We all have cliques and hardly anyone goes over to a guest and says "Hi, I'm John Smith, welcome to South Oaks." We do that in regular church (well, the adults do), so why not with the youth? Why not tell the new guy who doesn't know anyone he can sit with you and you will introduce him to people so he will feel welcome and come back? Because we are all too busy worrying about ourselves and who WE want to hang out with. I have seen a few people come on Wednesdays that end up staying but they are usually guys who feel a bond cause they play basketball and it's a natural guy-sport thing, but that's about the extent of it.
One thing I think alot of it traces back to is actually pretty simple: we are all turned inward. It's not entirely our own faults, it's partially because of today's society and yadda yadda, but still, we all come in to church looking for a personal something. "I want to feel something" or "I want this" or "I want that" rather than "This is about God, and nothing else matters." And we can't ever really improve our spiritual lives if we never get out of the Me, Me, Me phase.
Honestly, if you asked me right now what I want to do, I'd tell you I want to leave the church. That's complete, 100% honesty. After I sleep on all this, that might change, but right now, that's how I feel. I'm tired of our youth group and their apathetic attitude. I'm sure I'll have 2 or 3 people read this, which is part of the problem, because I'm talking to a brick wall and nobody gives a care about any of it. I'm to the point where we're going to do something, or I'm out, done. Cause this ship is sinking fast, and I'm gonna swim to shore if we can't patch the hole.
Just so I don't get a bunch of "you're no better" responses, I know I am guilty of these things as much as anyone else, but I seem to be the only one who cares anything about it to want to change it.
So I hope I ruffled some feathers, cause I that's what I wanted to do. Did I ruffle yours? DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT. PLEASE.
I think I'll just come right out and say it. I have a problem with my youth group. A big one.
I think about our youth group now compared to three years ago, and I wonder if I'm imagining something. THREE YEARS and we are entirely different, totally opposite, out of whack, and in the wrong place. True, all the leadership we had graduated, and nobody has filled that position, though many of us have talked about it. But why not? I'm not the only one who knows about this, why am I the only one who wants to DO anything about it?
Also, there are many who have what I would call an attitude problem. One girl I know of, if I asked her straight up, "Why do you come to church?" I know she would say "My parents make me." There's a few out there who have the attitude that they are better than everyone else and they get to choose who is worthy to hang out with. These "elitists" (I say that so they will know who they are) seem to care very little about church or God, and more about making fun of people and being their own clique (which is a whole different issue I will address in a minute).
I play bass in youth every week and you know what I see from the stage? Zombies. Kids who don't care. Sure, there are a scattered few who actually worship (which, by the way, is the ENTIRE REASON WE WERE CREATED IN THE FIRST PLACE), and I give those people the tip of my hat. I am proud of you for worshipping God even though it doesn't seem like anyone wants to. But to everyone else, why come to church if you don't listen during Dr. Dan's sermons, don't listen during Josh's bible studies, and don't worship during the songs? Because you want to hang out and see friends? Can't you do that anywhere else? If you tell me you want to learn more about God, and improve your relationship with him, great, then DO IT.
Another thing about our youth group is that it seems few visitors feel welcome. You know why? We all have cliques and hardly anyone goes over to a guest and says "Hi, I'm John Smith, welcome to South Oaks." We do that in regular church (well, the adults do), so why not with the youth? Why not tell the new guy who doesn't know anyone he can sit with you and you will introduce him to people so he will feel welcome and come back? Because we are all too busy worrying about ourselves and who WE want to hang out with. I have seen a few people come on Wednesdays that end up staying but they are usually guys who feel a bond cause they play basketball and it's a natural guy-sport thing, but that's about the extent of it.
One thing I think alot of it traces back to is actually pretty simple: we are all turned inward. It's not entirely our own faults, it's partially because of today's society and yadda yadda, but still, we all come in to church looking for a personal something. "I want to feel something" or "I want this" or "I want that" rather than "This is about God, and nothing else matters." And we can't ever really improve our spiritual lives if we never get out of the Me, Me, Me phase.
Honestly, if you asked me right now what I want to do, I'd tell you I want to leave the church. That's complete, 100% honesty. After I sleep on all this, that might change, but right now, that's how I feel. I'm tired of our youth group and their apathetic attitude. I'm sure I'll have 2 or 3 people read this, which is part of the problem, because I'm talking to a brick wall and nobody gives a care about any of it. I'm to the point where we're going to do something, or I'm out, done. Cause this ship is sinking fast, and I'm gonna swim to shore if we can't patch the hole.
Just so I don't get a bunch of "you're no better" responses, I know I am guilty of these things as much as anyone else, but I seem to be the only one who cares anything about it to want to change it.
So I hope I ruffled some feathers, cause I that's what I wanted to do. Did I ruffle yours? DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT. PLEASE.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
